I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
