i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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