Im at strip club and am horny
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
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