I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
