It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I party with great urgency now.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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