my sisters under your porch take her home
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The uberlube is also flammable
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
