So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
