just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
