I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
