Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I deserve this hangover.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
