woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
