Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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