think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
