then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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