look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
