i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
