my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
