At least make sure they are 18
Why
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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