how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
