I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
