I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
