I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
