he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
