Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
