I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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