There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize