Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize