i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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