I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I AM VODKA MAN
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
