ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
