sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
