Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
They have beer where we have blood.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
