Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
