I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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