Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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