He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Vodka?
Forever.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
