you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
