Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
