I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize