How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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