Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
