What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize