The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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