she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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