Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
