i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
