omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
