38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
