Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
