he puts the penis in happiness.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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