I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
