my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
