Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
