Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
