Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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