Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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