she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
