Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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