i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize