hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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