Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize