Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
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