We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
